Arshi OS: Tears Of Love ❣️

*Pardon for mistakes*

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Love…❣️Q: What is Love?

a) A curse

b) A blessing in disguise

What would be your answer?

Everyone will face this question once in their lifetime. And now I think it’s high time for me to face this question. 

Eyes…One of beautiful assets a human body posses, which have capability of revealing or hiding every emotion, from fake ones to the innermost hidden feelings.

Tears…An overflow of salt water in our body which are controlled by our $tupid heart which has no brain.

Everyone says that I posses beautiful eyes that can captivate anyone with their spark.
But what happens when those beautiful eyes are clouded with tears?

Will the spark that captivates every one still be there?

I don’t say that my life’s perfect from the day I was born. I know there won’t be any perfect life that doesn’t consists of ups and downs. But the amount of pain we receive from the heart break that’s caused by love, it’s completely next level from whatever ups and downs you face in your lifetime.

My name is Khushi…and here’s the story that lies behind my Tears Of Love!

I love dogs. They are such a beautiful creatures!They shower all their love and loyalty throughout their lifetime. I always wanted to raise a dog by myself. But my mom wouldn’t accept that as she says, I’m too lazy to take care of that.

I’m 22 yrs old now. I got a job for myself and am staying far away from my town. So now, finally I have freedom to do whatever I want in my life.The first thing I wanted to do is to find a perfect puppy for me. But Alas! God has other things planned for me. He gifted me with heavy burdens of office work that I hardly have time to even rest. So for now the thought of raising puppy went last in my TO DO List.
One day my dad called me and asked if I want a puppy. I almost blurted out yes. I told him how busy I was and I couldn’t raise a puppy.

Like that my busy life completely immersed me in its race of making money and building career.
Everything felt almost perfect in my current life until one evening, when I decided to go on an evening walk.

That evening literally changed my entire happy life Upside-down.
I was walking past a shop that is located around a corner of the street. I suddenly heard cute barking sounds made by a puppy. I followed that sound and there I finally found a cute adorable puppy that’s hiding behind some plants.
My eyes glinted with joy. I literally jumped like a baby forgetting I was on some unknown street. I slowly took steps near that puppy so that it doesn’t get scared.
I took that puppy in my hands and started playing with that joyfully.
Suddenly I heard two dogs coming out of nowhere and barking at me as if indicating me to leave that puppy.
I got scared and was about to leave that puppy but there came a masculine voice that silenced those dogs. Those dogs started nearing the source of that voice which by the way came from behind. I slowly turned towards my backside and the sight infront of me took my breath away.

There was a handsome man who might be in his mid twenties sat on his knees while feeding those dogs with pure love filled eyes. Seeing him the puppy in my hands got excited and jumped forward inorder to reach him. He laughed looking at that puppy attempts to get free from my hands. It finally succeeded in freeing itself and reached that man, who took it and hugged to his heart. That puppy started licking his face for which he laughed while trying to control it and just like that my heart skipped it’s beat.
I stood there while staring at the most adorable scene that melted my heart. He suddenly looked towards me which caught me off guard.
I wanted to run away but I don’t know what got into me that made me stay rooted to the spot where I stood previously.
He stood up and started taking steps slowly towards me. Now I got chance to see his perfect height and perfect features. His eyes… adorned with stylish spectacles…his sharp nose and big red lips…and sharp jaw… everything screamed perfect. I didn’t realise when he approached me as I was too busy in taking note of his features.

“Hey”, he smiled.
Dhak dhak…dhak dhak…
Damn! What happened to me? Why is my heart beating fast? 
Pushing my worries aside I replied “Hi” and smiled.
“Are you new here? I never saw such a beautiful girl here before!” He asked me making me blush.
“Um…yeah…” I said.
“So where do you stay?” He asked me which caught me off guard.
No matter how tempting he looked he’s a stranger right? I can’t trust him blindly and say where I live. So I stayed silent till he broke the silence with his husky voice.
“It’s ok if you don’t want to say yet!” He said and laughed.
“By the way I’m Arnav…what’s your name young lady?” He asked forwarding his hand.
“Khushi” I said and we shook our hands.
Ok will you guys believe if I say that I felt something when our hands touched? 
I mean not like current shock or something as the way they depict in movies but something like the way we feel when we touch our parents! Like warm and secured.
I returned from my world of thoughts after losing his warmth touch.
“Apt name for such a beauty” he said and winked.
Hey devimaya! He’s such a flirt!
“Ok…before you think I’m a big flirt or some serial killer or anything…I want to tell you that I’m a gentleman who stays in a small apartment all by myself while doing a decent software job and feeding these beautiful creatures” he said and smiled.
“You are a flirt that I know but a serial killer is yet to be known” I said and laughed looking at his expressions.
“Anyways I gotta go bye” I said and started to leave but he stopped me.
“Um is that alright if I ask you for your number?” He asked.
“Nope! Why would I give you my number?” I asked him.
“Because I asked for it” he stated simply.
“And who are you to me?” I asked him while frowning.
“A friend” he said and winked.
“And when did that happen?” I asked him.
“Just before few minutes when we shook our hands!” He exclaimed.
“Hey devimaya! What are you? A kid? Just like that you thought we would become friends?” I asked.
“Oh then how did you become friends with your childhood friends?” He asked.
“By introducing yourself and shaking hands right?” He asked and I nodded .
“But that was when we were kids right? How can we become friends just like that?” I asked him.
“That’s why I’m asking your number so that we can be in touch and slowly we can become friends” he said.
“Ok then l’ll give you my number” I said and saw a glint of joy in his eyes.
“But only if we meet next time by any coincidence” I said and smirked.
“Seriously?” He frowned like a kid.
“What are you? 5? Frowning like a kid” I laughed while looking at his innocent face which was frowning turn into something else.
He looked at me in awe.
“You have such a beautiful smile!” He said making me blush.
Hey devimaya! What’s with him and my blushing?
“Thank you and Same to you” I said and smiled.
We both looked into each other’s eyes.
I lost the count of seconds we stared into each other’s eyes till we brought into this world by barkings of dogs which are in need of some attention.
The puppy I previously held came near my legs and started snuggling to my right leg.
“I think our next coincidence meeting would be soon” he said and smiled.
“Ok dear…time to leave…I’ll meet you ASAP” I said and kissed on the puppy’s forehead.
“Aww” he exclaimed.
“Ok Arnav…bye…” I said and started leaving unwillingly.
Just before taking a turn at the end of the street I turned to have a quick glance at him. 
He smiled and made puppy wave his hand.
I smiled and left.

Next day…

I woke up to the sharp ringing of alarm.
I felt tired as I didn’t get to sleep properly previous night. And the credit for my sleepless night goes to The Most Flirtatious Boy I have ever met aka ARNAV!
ok enough of my nonsense! Time to get to work!!! I encouraged myself to get ready fast and leave for work.
During lunch break I decided to tell about Arnav to my 3 idiots but then after foreseeing the amount of teasing I would get for that, zipped my mouth. 
At evening, I went to pub with my friends to release the stress our stupid boss imposes on me.
Payu(Payal), Anju(Anjali), Lavs(Lavanya) are my 3 idiots.
We all hangout together every time . Even if it’s for panipuri at the corner of the street.
We don’t live under same roof as we all care for our privacy. But we belong to same neighborhood. 
“It seems like khush finally got someone in her life”, said lavs while sipping her vodka shot.
I coughed out my drink and stared at her dumbfounded.
“Woah! This reaction is priceless” lavs said and the trio laughed.
“So should we assume that’s right?” Payu asked while looking at me expectedly.
“Hey devimaya! No…not at all” I stammered while avoiding the trios stares.
“What’s with you khush? You’re acting weird today!” Anju asked me while giving teasing look.
“I’m not feeling well girls…I’ll leave now…you enjoy and don’t you dare follow me” I told them in warning tone and left the pub quickly.
I took an uber and reached my home safely.
While looking at the silent road of the street which soon has been disturbed by the barking of the dogs, all my yesterday’s memories came rushing back to me in an instant.
My heart felt warm and suddenly my legs on its own accord started taking steps towards the street which I visited yesterday.
While walking, I felt anxious. Will he be there? Will I see him today? Will I talk to him today? All these thoughts kept running in my mind.
Finally I reached the place where I met my cute adorable puppy. But there’s no one here. I felt sad and turned around to leave.
“Looking for someone young lady?” A terrific voice spoke out which shook me in fear. 
I started running but soon I was pinned to a wall by two strong hands. I closed my eyes in fear.
“Please don’t harm me” I voiced out in fear while tears started rolling down my cheeks.
“I’ll never ever harm you! Even in my dreams!” He said.
That voice…It’s husky!!! I heard it somewhere!
That guy cupped my cheeks and pressed his lips on my forehead.
I recognised that touch! I opened my eyes and glared at him.
“Hey devimaya! Were you trying to kill me?” I asked while pushing him away from me.
Arnav started laughing out loud while clutching his stomach.
“The scared puppy look on your face was damn funny!” Arnav exclaimed.
I stomped on his feet for which Arnav hissed in pain.
“The painful look on your face is damn funny! Hahaha” I laughed.
“Ok…tit for tat…Now happy?” Arnav asked.
“Go to hell!” I exclaimed and started leaving.
He caught hold of my hand and pulled me into his arms.
“How can you manage to look so cute even when you are angry?” Arnav whispered in my ears which sent shivers down my spine due to our close proximity.
“Lea…leave…me…ar…Arnav…” I stammered while trying to get out of his hold.
“Why? Don’t you like it?” Arnav asked in a teasing way.
“No!” I yelled for which he loosened his grip on me and I distanced myself from him.
“Ok! I was just teasing!” Arnav said.
“What are you doing here at this time?” Arnav asked. His question caught me off guard.
“Did you come for me?” Armav asked with glint of hope in his eyes.
“Puppy!” I said out of blue.
Slowly the glint in his eyes shaded away replacing cold look.
“It’s in safe place! There’s no need for you to worry!” Arnav said coldly.
“What’s with his cold attitude?” I thought.
“Ok…I wanted to have a look at that puppy…leave it…I’m going” I said and turned away not before noticing the hurt that flashes in his eyes.
“And here’s my number…” I said and handed him a chit and ran away.
Currently I’m sleeping on my bed and staring at my phone for any indication of a call or message.
Why is he taking so long to contact? 
Argh! I groaned in frustration and thre the phone on my bed.

Suddenly I heard beep sound indicating a message. I quickly looked at phone in hope of getting his message but alas! That was from my family group wishing good night! Huh! Leave it! If he’s not interested then why did he ask me for my number? I’m not going to go to that street again and never ever I’m going to talk to him! I decided and slept on my bed while hugging my pillow tightly.
After some time just when I’m slipping into deep sleep my phone started ringing which irritated me. Now who’s the stupid that’s calling me at this hour? I thought and finally picked the call with out noticing the I’d of the call.
“Hello!” I yawned.
“Oops! I thought you wouldn’t be asleep” A husky voice replied which shattered my happy sleep 
“Finally!” I exclaimed and jumped in joy.
“Wow! Were you waiting for my call?” Arnav asked.
“What? No! Why?” I stammered.
“You were literally screaming and jumping in joy so I thought you were expecting my call” he teased me.
I panicked and looked around to see if he was there as he’s saying as if he saw me.
“Ok… stop looking around and don’t panick! I’m just pulling your legs!” Arnav said and laughed.
“Not in a dirty way though” Arnav said and laughed hysterically for which my jaw dropped to ground.
“Hey devimaya!” I exclaimed.
“So…what next?” Arnav asked.
“What next?” I asked in return.
Like this we started talking and texting.
I don’t even remember how many days or weeks passed by, till the day I noticed it’s been 1 month since I met Arnav.
Life seemed different around Arnav.
He teases me, flirts with me, makes me blush but never ever once he misbehaved with me.
I started liking him more by each passing second.
Suddenly my phone vibrated.
“Can I ask you something?” -Arnav
“Yup” -Khushi
“Do you consider me as your friend?” -Arnav
“Don’t you already know the answer?” -Khushi
“You never mentioned” -Arnav
“What exactly do you want to know now?” -Khushi
“Can we be in an open relationship?” -Arnav
I stared at screen once more not believing my eyes.
“Why?” -Khushi
“I wanna take you out for a date” -Arnav
“Let’s discuss about this when we meet” -Khushi
“Ok” -Arnav

Next day at evening

We met at the street where we first met.
“Now tell me” I said while looking straight into his eyes.
“I feel different with you khushi…I can’t just be friend to you…I wanna do lot of things for you…ai wanna know everything about you” Arnav said while looking at my eyes.
I searched for any emotion that could prove me that he’s lying but alas…I was wrong.
There was this pure honesty that tongue-tied my mouth.
“Then why can’t we be in a serious relationship?” I asked.
“We don’t know eachother well. So, I don’t want us to commit fully until we understand each other well” ARNAV said.
“How does that even work?” I asked while giving the best dumbest look on my face.
“We won’t have any commitments or regrets and whenever we feel like to end this relation we can happily part our ways” Arnav said casually.
“Seriously that sucks!” I exclaimed.
“It’s for our best” Arnav said while kissing on my forehead.
“But what if in future we decide to part our ways? Then where will we stand? Will we still be friends?” I asked.
“Yup. If that’s what you wish in future” Arnav said.
“I don’t know why but I don’t feel good about this” I said sadly while hugging him.
“Hey come on, you’re overthinking. Let’s just cherish our present moment!” Arnav said while returning the hug.
“I need time to think about this” I said.
“Take your own time! But please take decision ASAP so that we can start enjoying our lives” Arnav said and winked.
I gave a weak smile and left.
I thought about his offer.
A part of me is taking his side by saying that’s a cool offer as we all know not every relationship ends with wedding bells.
But another part of me is saying that I’ll be heartbroken.
I started pacing around the room while chewing my most favourite snack jalebis.
“Now only you can help me…please show me a way!” I said while folding my hands infront of my favourite devimaya(goddess)!
Suddenly my phone beeped.
“Missing you 😦 ” -Arnav
As soon as my eyes fell on that message, unknowingly a smile formed on my face while my heart started getting warm.
I took my decision. 
I don’t know where it takes me but I hope everything turns out good at the end.
When I told my decision to Arnav, he was like one of the most happiest person in the world.
We started dating.
He was like my dream come true.
Hey devimaya! The feelings he made me feel, I don’t know how to describe them in words! Those can be only felt when we’re in love!
Wait! Did I just say love?
Where did that come?
Hey devimaya! If Arnav gets to know about this, then he’ll definitely take a class for me.
In midst of this whole dating thing, I forgot to mention the fact that Arnav asked me to keep our so called open relationship as a secret.
The explanation he gave for that is, he doesn’t want any of our friends or family to know about our relationship till we get into serious commitment.
My friend’s started noticing my recently changed behaviour. But they never confronted me regarding that. I told them that I want to be alone for few weeks and I don’t wanna hangout till then for which they agreed.
Arnav started pampering me a lot.
Our story felt like a fairy tale for me! Where Arnav is a prince and Khushi is a princess.
Everything was so perfect and that scared me the most. Because we all know that nothing will be perfect in our life.
I started getting a bad vibe but I pushed it away thinking I’m just overthinking.

After few days Arnav told me that he’s working for a big project and he’ll be busy. He also told me that he needs to go to another state for work and he’ll return after finishing the project.
I told him to concentrate on his work and I assured him that I wouldn’t distract him.
I felt sad as he’s moving to another state. He assured me that he’d contact me every day and if possible he’d come and meet me atleast once in a month.
The night before he moved to another state, he said he wanted to spend a night with me for which I hesitated first but eventually I agreed.
We took a hotel room for a night.
He told me he finds me very attractive.
We both had fun while watching cartoons and old movie songs. To be honest I was the one enjoying by seeing them while he was enjoying just by looking at my happy face.
After having our dinner, I felt nervous as we were about to share a single bed at night.
He took my hand in his hands and gently placed a kiss on my forearm. Then he cupped my face and stared into my eyes. I closed my eyes feeling shy.
He started placing kisses on my forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, chin and around corners of my mouth.
He started nearing my lips. His hot breathe on my lips sent shivers down my spine.
My heart beat raised and my cheeks started turning into red.
Finally! The moment I was waiting since ages came in reality.
My first kiss!!!
Even if I didn’t get any sparks at background or butterflies dancing on my stomach feeling as shown in Disney movies, that kiss alone felt good. A warm and cosy feeling I get made my heart flutter.
He mumbled on my lips to feel free and kiss well.
I started reciprocating his kiss.
Our tongues started fighting for dominance.
He started roaming his hands around my body.
I didn’t feel scared. So I let him touch me the way he wanted. 
He asked me to remove my clothes but I denied saying I’d feel uncomfortable.
He made me lay on my back and pushed my night shirt up revealing my tummy. Then started kissing my belly button.
I shivered at the warmth touch of his lips on my belly.
He wanted us to make love at that night but I told him that I couldn’t as we weren’t seriously commited. 
I placed my head on his chest feeling his heartbeat.
“Do you like it?” Arnav asked for which I smiled and said “Hmm”.
“You know what? Your heart belongs to me” I said like a possesive wife.
“Haha and your hands belong to me” he said while placing wet kisses on my hand.
“Do you have any slightest idea of how horny I’m feeling right now?” Arnav asked for which I nodded no innocently.
“Come on yaar, please! Think about it! We can” Arnav was saying but I interrupted.
“Is this the reason you wanted to spend a night with me?” I asked looking straight into his eyes.
“No. I don’t know! Honestly I didn’t plan anything on what to do this night!” Arnav said.
“I just wanted to create beautiful memories with you before leaving this place” ARNAV said and pecked my lips.
He didn’t force me that night and we slept while cuddling.

Now that I remember that night, tears started forming in my eyes.
After moving to another state, as he said he used to contact me every day saying what he had done and how much he missed seeing my face. Even though we did video call, it’s different to meet in real right?
I never used to disturb him when he’s at work.
I started getting myself busy with my works and again I started hanging out with my friends for which they felt happy as if they got lottery ticket.
I didn’t knew they love me to that extent and I felt glad to earn such friends in my life.
After two weeks Arnav stopped calling me regularly. Then I started calling him and he used to attend my calls. He used to talk only for few minutes saying he was busy with project work.
I told him to contact me when he gets free time for which he agreed but never called in return.
I wondered what happened to him.
I started getting nervous. 
I messaged him saying I wanted to talk to him but he never replied even after seeing my message.
I used to get a call after few days.
He said that we should be doing some interesting stuff to maintain the spark between us. So he asked me to use one app where privacy is well assured.
I used to do whatever he asks me to do even if I felt uncomfortable.
I slowly started realising that unknowingly I fell in love with him.
But the saddest part is, I realised the distance between us is growing no matter what I do to make him happy.
At first, even if we were physically distant, I never missed him because I felt like we were close by our hearts. But now, I feel like he’s distancing himself from me.
Whenever I see him active in social media but never getting any message from him,  used to crumble my heart.

If at all I texted, he’d reply he’s busy and will call later. 
I started feeling distant.
I used to spend sleepless nights thinking about him while shedding tears unknowingly.
The ironic part is, even while I was getting hurt there’s a part within me that’s happy that atleast he didn’t fully disconnect me.
I didn’t know when I started getting weak in his love.
I stopped taking proper diet. I felt like a zombie. A lifeless body with out a soul.
My friends started panicking seeing my state. They asked me the reason for which I made some stupid excuses saying I have some family issues and I don’t wanna discuss them.
They scolded me and started making funny acts to make me smile. They used to inspect my house regularly and make sure I was eating well. 
I used to talk to mom regularly saying I was feeling homesick. She said me to take leave and visit home for which I agreed.
I took leave and visited my home town.
I looked at my phone expecting message from a specific person who can bring a smile on my face. But alas! Now-a-days that was too much to ask!
I decided to move on. I unfriended him from social media and switched off my phone.
I spent time with my family.
I felt alive after coming home.
At night I switched on my mobile and looking at the number of missed calls and messages from the person I wanted the most, my smile widened.
I have seen the messages but didn’t reply.
Then after few minutes my phone ringed, displaying his name on screen.
I received the call. As soon as I received I was attacked with his questions.
I told him that he’s making me feel like shit and I couldn’t entertain him more.
“Come on yaar, even you’re enjoying right?” Arnav said.
“No. Not at all!” I exclaimed.
“Do you remember when was the last time you talked to me freely and happily?” I asked.
“I told you right I was busy!” Arnav exclaimed.
“Even I was busy Arnav but I never ignored your texts or calls!” I yelled.
“Ok it’s my fault! I agree! Tell me what I should do to make up my mistake?” Arnav asked.
“Nothing! Let’s just end our so called open relationship right now!” I said in calm tone while tears started welling up in my eyes.
“What? Have you gone crazy?” Arnav asked.
“Yes. What should I do when you just call when you’re horny and at other times you ignore me like a pest?” I asked in irritated tone.
“Hey there’s nothing like that! You are overthinking!” Arnav exclaimed in irritated tone.
“You keep saying this to me but in fact you were doing that only” I said and started crying.
“You’re making me feel like shit Arnav! I don’t know how you feel about me but you know how I feel about you! It was never a mere physical attraction for me! It was more than that! I used to feel we were connected by hearts but now, I don’t even feel if you’re there even while talking to you!” I said while hiccuping.
“Khushi! Damn it! Why are you crying? Go and  drink water. We’ll discuss about this later” he said and ended the call.
I cried all night till my eyes felt sore and slept like that.

Next day there’s no message or call from him.
I felt sad but didn’t show that on my face as I’m currently staying at my home.
Normally, I would have texted him or call him by now but I decided to focus on myself for now.
After few days he called me and talked to me normally as if nothing happened before few days back.
He told me that he never talked to me just for fun but he cared for me and he feels like home with me. He also said me that it’s first time he’s talking or texting some one this much as he doesn’t even spent that much time with his friends or family. I like a fool melted to his words and again started texting and talking.
He called me and texted me every day.
It’s time for me to return to office. I left my house and reached my apartment.
After few days again Arnav started ignoring me. Again he started making me feel like a shit.
Hey devimaya! Everything is repeating. This is like a form of cycle! 
I stopped texting him and calling him.
He used to call me or text me at nights saying he missed me which by now I understood that was complete bull shit.
I stopped entertaining him saying I was busy and I was not interested.
Then one day out of blue he called me during morning and said something that completely shattered my heart into pieces.
“Khushi…I don’t know why but I started feeling like something is wrong between us. I don’t mean I was wrong or I did some mistake because whatever we had done, everything we did with mutual interest. But I think you started getting emotional and I’m afraid you’d get hurt in the end. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me! So I think it’d be best if we end this here” Arnav said and I remained silent while tears started rolling down my cheeks.
“Say something khushi. Are you listening?” Arnav asked.
“Yeah continue” I said slowly.
“I was always clear from the starting that we’d be in open relationship and there won’t be anything serious between us! But I think you were expecting more from the starting!” Arnav said.
“I already told you that I have responsibilities and I have commitment issues. I can’t think about any serious commitment right now” Arnav said.
I felt weak and was about to fall down unable to stand. So I slowly walked towards dining table and sat down while listening whatever shit he’s saying.
“Are you listening khushi?” Arnav asked.
“Yes” I said.
“Say something yaar. Why are you being silent?” Arnav asked.
“You already decided that we should end this so called open relationship. Then is there anything else we need to discuss?” I asked him.
“Hey, that for our good yaar. I know I wasn’t treating you the way I should have treated you. I know I made you feel like shit. But I already told you that I’m like this. Yet you decided to be in relationship with me!” Arnav said which felt like a slap on my face.
“So are you saying me that it’s my fault I choose to be with you?” I asked.
“No yaar. I don’t mean that! God! How should I tell you? I don’t have any issue with us being like this. I mean we are good right? I’ll call you when I feel to talk and you’ll call me whenever you feel to talk…we can enjoy like this. I don’t get what’s wrong in that!” Arnav said.
“You’ll only call me when you’re horny! I’m just there to entertain your needs. Now I think you got bored of me and wants to leave me” I said while crying.
“Shut up khushi! I fucking care for you dammit! Don’t say useless things like that!” Arnav yelled.
“Tell me one thing Arnav. Am I that good? I mean you enjoyed seeing me right? Should I try making videos in p**n sites or should I meet someone who’ll enjoy with me just like you did and leave me? Or should I become a s**t?” I asked while crying hardly.
I know I’m talking nonsense but I think I reached my limit and I lost my sanity.
“I disobeyed my parents. I don’t even feel like living anymore! Anyways thank you so much for caring about me” saying this I ended the call.
I just sat there crying to my heart content while reminiscing all memories from the time I met him to the time he broke my heart.
My phone started ringing.
I looked at caller id and lost all interest in lifting the call. But he kept calling me again and again till I received the call.
“Tell me you’re not doing anything crazy!” Arnav yelled.
“Why do you care? If I die or not, what’s with you?” I asked.
“Have you gone mad? What’s with you? Why are you behaving like this?” He asked.
“I…I don’t know…” I cried while saying this.
“Khushi…why are you crying?” Arnav asked.
“I don’t know. It seems like tears are rolling down on their own accord!” I said.
“I was right! You expected more from me! That’s why I want us to end this here. We could have enjoyed like we did but you said you were feeling uncomfortable right? You know I won’t force you to do anything right?” Arnav asked while his every word stabbed my heart literally.
Tears of love finally rolled down my eyes carefreely. 
I was crying from long time but now after hearing his accusations, my heart couldn’t take more. I wiped my tears and cleared my voice 
“So what happens now? Should we stop contacting? Should we block each other and pretend as if we don’t know each other?” I asked.
“There’s no need for that but in my opinion that would be good! I mean you know right how I feel for you!” Arnav said.
“Yeah even if I make any illusions of how you feel about me you’ll make sure to burst my bubble saying the facts” I said 
“It’s not like that khushi. You know what? You used to appear in my mind when I was feeling horny and then after that I don’t even remember you. You used to text me but you know I hate chatting. Then I used to call you when ever I got free. You know right I never hide my real intentions from you! I was always honest with you about my feelings” Arnav said.
Seriously devimaya? Is this the prize for loving him? Till what extent will he break my already broken heart?
Like that once again my tears of love started welling up my eyes.
“Ok Arnav. Thank you so much for being this honest with me! It’s an honor for me to meet such a honest person on earth. Thank you for everything” I said and sighed.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be alright. Just let your brain process everything slowly” Arnav said.
“Ok” I replied.
“I’ll talk to you later. I’m at my friends place…so…bye” Arnav said and ended the call.
It took few days for me to process everything.
It pained like hell because literally I got addicted to him.

Now I realised I started obsessing him.
I started stalking his social media where he happily posted the pics of places he visited.
I deleted all my pics and videos in social media. I even deleted my social media accounts. 
I used to feel like he’s my twinflame!
Twinflames are mirrors of eachother. They are two bodies with one soul. 
(If you guys want to know more about twinflames then please Google search if you’re interested)
He also accused me that I assumed us being twinflames and complicated everything.
Back then when we spent a night at hotel he himself told me to say more about twinflames! 
Gosh! I was such a fool to believe him!
Hey devimaya! Thank you so much for protecting me that night from losing my innocence!
Due to my obsession, I called him one day and apologized for my crazy behaviour. I think here he needs to apologise but that stubborn ass wouldn’t do that in his lifetime! He once told me that sorry is a big word and don’t use that simply.
I asked him if we can remain friends for which he said it’s ok for him if that’s what I really wanted.
“Arnav have you ever considered me as your friend?” I asked him.
“I don’t need friends in my life.  I’m a lone traveller. I’ll meet different people and I create memories with them. That’s it” Arnav said.
“What am I to you?” I asked.
“A human. Hahaha. You’re also a lone traveller” Arnav said breaking my heart into pieces.
“So I’m nothing to you” I sighed.
“Don’t you dare say that! I never said that! You’re a part of my life. If ever I get chance to change that night , I’ll always be willing to meet you no matter what” Armav said.
“If I get chance to change that night, I’ll definitely change that” I thought sadly.
“But Arnav, if I’m not a friend of you then what right will I have to be in touch with you?” I asked.
“You’re some girl I know. And I’m some boy you know… isn’t that enough to be in contact?” ARNAV asked.
Even after knowing he’ll keep breaking my heart I don’t know why I’m still talking to him.
May be for a perfect closure.
Maybe to completely break my heart’s bubble if at all remained after my tears of love drained.
“If you want any career guidance or you wanna take a major decision in life, you can discuss with me” Arnav said.
“For that I have many educated people in my family. More qualified and experienced than you. But anyways thanks for your offer” I said.
“You want me to only contact you for those decisions?” I asked.
“No…I don’t mean in that way! That depends on your wish. I mean what will you talk other than that?” Arnav asked.
“What did we talk till few months back?” I asked.
“That’s different yaar” Arnav said.
“Ok. Don’t worry. I won’t distrub you unnecessarily. I don’t like to be clinging to anyone especially when they don’t like!” I said.
“I don’t even know what clinging means! And I do like you!” Arnav said as if I would believe him.
“I mean bothering you unnecessarily” I said.
“Let’s see. First of all you should call me na. Then we can think what to do” Arnav said.
“Ok now I’m getting work call. Is there anything else you wanna discuss?” Arnav asked.
“Nothing. Just take care. Bye” I said and he ended the call.
I don’t know why but I felt relieved after talking to him. Maybe I needed to hear his hurtful words inorder to move on.
It was difficult for me to stop thinking about him but eventually, as one proverb says “Time Heals everything” I started focusing on selfcare.
I didn’t completely outcast him.
I used to look at his pics and then when I felt urge to message him, I used to reminisce his hurtful words and stop myself.
Everything felt in place. But there was this one thing I always wanted to do when we were friends was to wish him on his birthday which was coming soon.
I don’t know if I should wish him or not. I think he’s completely moved on. Wait a minute, inorder to move on he should feel something right? Other than his lust for me, I don’t think he felt anything for me. Ok, I shouldn’t say this but that was what he made me feel. 

The last time I checked, it’s been 2 months since I last contacted him. After debating for more than a day with myself, I finally decided to wish him as that was something I always wanted to do when we were friends. I respect friendship a lot so even if he doesn’t consider me as his friend, I do!
I texted him and went offline.
I know I shouldn’t wait for his reply but this stupid heart which has no brain in if,which has fallen head over heels for a devil, started expecting his reply.
I got a reply after few hours.
“Thanks for your wishes” -Arnav
That’s it. No more messages from him.
Couldn’t he even ask me how I was doing? 
Ok after knowing his attitude that’d really be too much to ask.
But that whole day I got immersed in his thoughts. Even if that’s unwillingly, I couldn’t stop my heart from hurting due to his ignorance.
At evening, I finally gave up the hope of getting any other communication from him. While preparing dinner, I saw a pop up message and got shocked. It was from him.
My face lit up with joy.
“Hey. How are you?” -Arnav
“I’m fine. How’re you?” -Khushi
“I’m good” -Arnav
“Are you free now?” -Arnav
“Nope! Preparing dinner. But why?” -Khushi
Curiosity kills the cat!!! Better never forget that khushi! I warned myself.
“Thought of talking to you if you’re free” -Arnav
The old version of khushi would’ve jumped in joy and called in an instant but this newer version of khushi even if jumping in joy in heart, remained calm.
“Ok. is that ok if I call you in 5 min?” -Khushi
“Yeah” -Arnav
I started at my idiotic smiling face in my mirror 
Is this really happening? I wondered. All day I kept thinking he wouldn’t care and would’ve forgot me. But looking at the event I wanted to happen all day along, I couldn’t hide my surprised look on my face.
Composing myself, I called him. After 2 to 3 rings, he picked up my call.
“Happy birthday” I once again wished him.
“Hey, thank you” Arnav said.
After hearing his voice which I yearned to hear subconsciously every day for past 2 months, brought back all my sad lonely memories. But I felt glad and goosebumps erected on my skin hearing his hearty laugh.
“I didn’t expect you’d message me. But I felt happy looking at your message.” Arnav said.
“I used to check your profile in social media. I don’t know but I think I might have missed you and I wanted to look at your pic. But I never used to get your profile. So, I assumed you blocked me as even then we won’t be getting your account in searching results” Arnav said in one go.
“I never blocked you and I have deleted all my pics in social media. In fact, I even deleted all my social media accounts!” I said.
“Oh” Arnav sighed.
“Anyways did you miss me?” Arnav asked.
“What do you think?” I asked in hope to hear something I yearn to hear atleast once from him. But didn’t I say with Arnav that’d be too much to ask for.
“Just tell me how you feel!” Arnav said.
“Yes. I missed you” I said.
“Then why didn’t you call or text me?” Arnav asked.
“I so badly wanted to. But whenever I opened your contact, all our conversations used to play in my mind and I used to give up” I said sadly.
“I shouldn’t have talked like that. I don’t mean I was wrong though. But I don’t know what got into me that day. I didn’t want you to get hurt in the end” Arnav said.
“Ok” I said.
“So how did you enjoy your birthday?” I asked him.
“Nothing much. What’s so special about this day? This is just another day. That’s it” Arnav said.
“Didn’t your friends celebrate your birthday?” I asked.
“Nope” Arnav replied.
“Do they know that today’s your birthday?” I asked.
“Yeah. They wished me in phone” Arnav said.
“What about your parents? Did you call them?” I asked.
“Nope. They called me. You know na I hate calling and talking! I don’t talk much” Arnav said.
Then why did he call me? I thought.
“Then how are you celebrating your birthday?” I asked.
“By calling the one whom I like the most” Arnav said and laughed.
The same laugh that made me fall head over heels for him.
“Good then” I said.
“Khushi. Do you think I did wrong? Which I know I never did though! I want to know how you feel” Arnav asked.
“I don’t know” I said calmly.
“It was you who started getting emotional while I was crystal clear about my feelings from starting” Arnav said.
There he goes again! Digging the past and making me regret my decision even more by each passing second.
“Hey, I’m getting a call from my brother-in-law. Will call you back” He said and ended the call 
After 10 minutes he called me back.
“It seems like everyone got free at this time. They’re calling me now while I was free from morning” Arnav blabbed making me roll my eyes.
Then why didn’t he call me morning itself? I thought.
“Oh shit! Someone’s ringing the bell! I’ll call you back in some time” Arnav said and ended the call.
That’s it. He didn’t call me again.

Do you guys remember the warning I gave myself back then? Curiosity kills the cat? It seems like I don’t listen to my warnings. I texted him asking why he didn’t call me back for which he replied his friends gave surprise birthday party.
I told him how I gave up on the thought of having a conversation with him and it surprised me to get a call from him. He made it clear that he just called me to thank me for wishing him on his birthday.
Just like that again he broke my heart but this time I’m not that vulnerable to shed my tears of love. I’ve shedded too many precious tears for him. I’m done with him.

After that I realised my obsession on him faded away and now I don’t care if he contacts me or not. 
But after few days suddenly I remember all our happy memories and my stupid heart wanted to hear his voice. Now that I’m no longer that love-sick puppy, I messaged him. But he texted me after few hours when I felt sleepy. If my old version faced this situation she’d have called him immediately but now as I’m giving priority for myself and my needs, I texted him that I’m sleepy and going to bed. But I let him know that I wanted to talk to him. 
Next day I mistakenly texted him a message that I was supposed to send someone else. Then I deleted that message. He asked me what that was and I said I mistakenly texted him. I also told him that there are 2 boys that makes me laugh to the core to such an extent that unknowingly I texted him a text which was supposed to send them.
He said ok.
I texted him good night.
Next day I messaged him but didn’t get any reply. I thought he was busy and he’d text me when he sees text.
But that while day he didn’t reply.
Same goes for following day but again I texted.
Still no response. I saw him being online but purposely not replying me.
If I was old version of khushi I would’ve shed tons of tears but now I think I really don’t care anymore. I texted him friendly but once again he ghosted me. If he thinks that effects me then he definitely is hallucinating. 
I don’t know if he’ll ever understand my true feelings for him.
I know my heart is broken and vulnerable.

I stopped expecting from him. To be honest now I stopped expecting anything from anyone. 
But you all know that heart doesn’t know anything other than love. 

So I can’t guarantee that this is the end of my TEARS OF LOVE! Even if everything is over between us, there’ll be a part within my heart that holds his memories. What if we are seperated? I have my beautiful memories which I can cherish! That’s more than enough for me. That asshole can go to hell for all I care!
But never forget, Once a broken heart is a stronger heart❣️ 

So, how’s OS guys?
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